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by John Murphy
My stress-induced heart attack in 1988 changed my approach to speech-language pathology. The first time I flew on a plane after the "heart event," I had a new appreciation for the flight attendant's message: "In the event of an emergency, an oxygen mask will fall from the overhead compartment in front of you. If you are traveling with a child or someone who needs your assistance, put on your mask first and then help them."
After burning out, I had to learn how to take care of myself first so that I could help others. After two weeks in the hospital, I left with orders for continued medical care, physical therapy, counseling, and cardiac rehabilitation, which included programs about nutrition, meditation, and exercise. A recovering cardiac colleague put it succinctly: "a great life—no romance, no excitement, no driving, no french fries!"
To combat depression, I started a program of bibliotherapy in which I read two books a week, one about humor and a second about motivation. These books became my support group, along with my wife, two children, and our two cats, all of whom taught me how to think of myself first. The fall of 2007 marks 20 years since beginning the bibliotherapy program and I have completed 2,000 books, a thousand of them about using humor to heal, and another thousand about making major changes in my life.
Three months after my heart attack, I returned to work armed with books stuffed with hundreds of pieces of paper that held thousands of behavior-changing thoughts. As I resumed working with 30 high school students with disabilities as well as geriatric residents in long-term care facilities, some of these ideas, described below, transformed my practice.
First, my stress was caused by the way I used to think. It's easy to focus on endless paperwork, increasing caseloads, inflexible schedules, lack of support, and little preparation time. I now tell myself at least hourly that if I change the way I think, I will change my life. Now, I focus on the joys in my life and I stop at least twice a day to celebrate them.
I've trained myself to have fun. I don't try to be funny but to just have fun. How does one find fun? I try to look for fun people, fun places, games, food, magazines, clothing stores, TV sitcoms, and hobbies. I choose to find fun and it happens.
I learned the greatest secret to reduce stress and be happier, and it actually improved my treatment. I learned how to laugh at myself, and began to see life differently and to notice how little control I had over things around me—yet how much control I had over myself.
As a more relaxed speech-language pathologist, I am able to give better treatments. I make sure that clients and coworkers get a smile, a kind word, and if appropriate, a handshake, a pat on the arm, or a high-five each day.
I have adopted our high school motto: "Make it a good day, or not—the choice is yours."
John Murphy is past president of the Massachusetts Speech-Hearing-Language Association, a past ASHA Legislative Councilor, and a life coach teaching grown-up children how to use humor, laughter, fun, and play. He can be reached at humortalks@aol.com.
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