Rules for Conflict Resolution
- Keep a sense of humor. Do not let the conflict become more serious than it deserves to be.
- Shoot for a win-win resolution. The goal should be to reach a positive solution. Compromise is key.
- Express your feelings. If you feel resentful, say it. Keeping it bottled up may result in an explosion of emotion.
- Communicate clearly, directly, and openly. Do not expect others to read your mind. They may guess incorrectly.
- Discuss and analyze only one point at a time. Stay on the subject.
- Never take a cheap shot. No hitting below the belt, and absolutely no ridiculing.
- Don’t make a big deal about a trivial issue. If you do, consider why and what it is you are really after.
- If you are wrong, admit it. An apology may be all it takes to end a potential conflict.
- Timing is everything. Discuss a resolution at a time when everyone is emotionally ready for the discussion—not at 5 p.m. on Friday.
- At some point, everyone fights dirty. Or, they may say things that they regret later. Forgive, forget, and get over it.
Tips for Effective Interpersonal Persuasion
Be Well Prepared
- Take time to consider various options and questions prior to the interaction so that you will not be caught off guard—consider, for example, the key question: What haven’t I asked or what haven’t I been asked?
- Look for contradictions or gaps in logic during the discussion that may assist in clarifying or resolving issues.
- Keep your responses to questions concise, and do not give more information than is requested.
Never Look Flustered—Even if You Don’t Know the Answer
- Appear contemplative, but not puzzled when you are searching for an appropriate response.
- There is no shame in saying, “I don’t know,” as long as it is not said frequently.
- Consider saying, “That’s a very good question…let me think about it for a moment.”
- If you are unsure of the meaning of a question, ask for a restatement in different terms.
- Do not respond simultaneously to multiple questions contained in one comprehensive question. Separate them and respond to the parts about which you feel most comfortable.
- If you cannot answer a question directly, or the question is too complex to answer succinctly, relate it to a similar issue that you feel more confident addressing.
Keep Your Cool
- Never become emotional! Maintain an air of serenity.
- Never get into a shouting match.
References
Reardon, K. K. (1991). Persuasion in practice. Newbury Park, CA: Sage Publications.
Vantage. (1998). On human communication. Wichita, KS: WSU Office of Human Resources.
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